Monday, October 26, 2015

Screw the cow.

With more women reading my blog, come more questions about post-divorce dating.  Now I am no expert unless you count going on countless first dates as qualification for a PhD in dating. Ok, so maybe I am an expert.  But I am also an unapologetic expert.  I am blunt and to the point as we should all be about post-divorce dating.  We aren't in our twenties any more and with custody schedules in place, we only have so many days for dating.  So ladies, and men, we need to take advantage of these fleeting moments.

Post-divorced dating comes with far fewer rules than pre-marriage dating.  Remember that old saying 'Why would he buy the farm if he can get the milk for free?'  Doesn't apply any more.  Actually shouldn't have applied then either, but that's a whole different post.  But I want to answer the question many of you have asked me.  'How soon is too for for sex in the post-divorce dating world'?

The short answer is, 'It's never too soon for sex post-divorce'.  First date, he's cute, he's nice, he seems half way normal - go for it.  Why should you deprive yourself of the pleasure of having sex because you have some twisted idea in your head that if you hold out he will respect you and therefore want to date you?  What if, just what if, he respected you for doing what you want, when you want, and how you want.  Now that would be a novel idea.

Ladies, you know as well as I do, that you have decided less than five minutes in on your date whether you would sleep with him, let alone go on a second date.  Chances are he is thinking the same thing.  He's also out with you and not a twenty something for a reason.  And that reason is you are smart, attractive and have lived a little.  So if after a dinner and some drinks you want to have some fun, he will respect that too.  Because at this stage in the dating game there is no such thing as easy or slutty.  No, now it is confident and self assured.

We don't have the time to waste on six or seven dates spread over several weeks because of the every other weekend custody schedule, to find out if his penis is really worth hanging around for.  We really need that information up front.  Be greedy and get those stats quickly.  And if after the second or third date and some decent sex, you realize this guy isn't for you, hey at least you had some fun along the way.

Post-divorce dating is not about depriving yourself so you can get married again.  It's about setting your standards so when you do marry again, it's for all the right reasons, including penis size.  Post-divorce dating is about you.  It's about you having fun, experimenting, throwing caution to the wind (ok not all the way, please be safe) and saying ' I don't care what anyone thinks, I am going to date who I want, sleep with who I want, and break up with who I want'.  Because you know what you want now and you are not willing to settle.  

Be proud of all the sex you are having.  Your married friends are so very jealous, I guarantee it.  Go have some fun.  You deserve it.  And then when you find that soul mate you will have no regrets on your second dating go-round.  Be the slut you were always dying to be but too afraid.  Post-divorce dating holds no shame.  Trust me on this one.  After all I am divorced and have dated.