Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.....

Since I have begun dating post - divorce, I have found that invariably I label many of the men I go out with, with a nickname so I can describe them to my friends.  The majority of these nicknames are apropos to either their physical appearance, their quirky personality or some aspect of our date.  Most of the men who garner these nicknames don't last very long in my romantic life.  But the nicknames linger.  They are a way to remember those ill fated dates and relationships.

Recently I heard a story about a nickname that got me thinking.  What is it about nicknames?  And how do we get assigned such things?  And should we really give ourselves a nickname or is that just really creepy?

Recently I was told a wonderful bedtime story.  A story involving people I know (those always do make the best stories).  And in this story the man, the hero of the story,  assigned himself a wonderfully awful nickname.  And it prompted me to wonder:

  • Should people assign themselves a nickname?
  • Should people brag about their self-assigned nickname?
  • Should people think twice about how stupid their nickname sounds?

So in this story, the man was on a date with a woman.  And after a lovely evening out, the man invited the woman back to his place for some more fun.  And as two consenting adults, they adjourned to the man's bedroom.  After some foreplay, they both stripped naked and the man went downtown, pleasing the woman with his tongue.  And please he did.  The woman, gasping for breath, told the man he was the best she had ever had at digging for clams.  The man looked up at her and said 'Women call me The Pussy Whisperer'.

At this point if said woman had been me, between belly aching laughter, I would have scrambled up, thrown on my clothes and run.

Do women really call him 'The Pussy Whisperer'?  And when?  As they talk to their friends or do they ring him up on the phone and say 'Hello pussy whisperer...'?   Is there a chat room I can join to discuss this?  Does he sell t-shirts?  Will there be a show on Discovery Channel about how he saved and tamed hundreds of pussies with his whispering?  It is a slightly horrifying story about a man, either so egotistical or delusional to think he is the best at working downtown, that he has given himself a moniker that should really never be spoken out loud unless you are actually training cats.

I will continue to nickname men, mostly for the amusement of my friends, but I hope not to meet a man who has nicknamed himself, although one never knows what the next date brings.  Because after all, I am divorced and single.