Saturday, October 6, 2012

You Had Me At.....Part Deux

And once again, let's go through my favorite pick up lines of the last few months.  I am always amazed that men think these will work but I guess if you put it out there often enough, eventually someone will take the bait. 

1.  Are you from Tennessee?  Because you are the only Ten I See.

There are very few words that can describe how hard it was for me to resist going out with this man.

2.  If you were offered $835,000 in real life, what would you be willing to do in return for it?

I was incredibly intrigued by the bizarre dollar amount offered to me.  So I responded 'I would happily clean your house, make your bed and possibly go grocery shopping for you.'  Oddly the money never arrived.

3.  Mmmmmm you are so fine looking.

I am not sure exactly how to respond to this.  On one hand it is very true.  On the other hand the 'mmmmm' prior to the statement sort of freaks me out.  Almost like I was a plate of food he was getting ready to eat.

4. Woof Woof

Initially I thought this was intriguing.  But then I started to think this man must thing I am a dog. And now I am totally offended. 

5. Hi I'm Eric and I have a very high libido.  Would you like to meet me?

You had me at Eric. 

6. What you doing?

I am going to ignore the grammatically incorrect question and focus on the answer.  Right now I am filling out my application for a convent so I can stop getting all these horrendous messages.  You?

7.  Hello :) nice to meet you, my name is Shane timothy. I think you're very beautiful. You should message me back. I am so into older women, please give me a chance, and if not at least let me spoil you :)

With all those smiley faces in the message how could I refuse. 

8.The grass is always greener on the other side.  And I am here waiting for you.  

 I don't even know what this means.

9. I put the S in sarcasm.

I put the F in Fuck Off.

10.  How was work today cutie?

I wrote back:  Well it started out slow because there was so little traffic on my corner but eventually it picked up.  My tally for the day was 7 blowjobs, 8 hand jobs and 2 fucks.  Not a bad day overall.

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