I have been doing the online dating thing for a while and have noticed there are a wide variety of email styles to try to get my attention. Some work better than others. Some are sweet. Some shy. Some confident. Some are classy. Some are creepy. Some are super creepy. But to give you an idea of how men approach me, I thought I would include some of my favorites. Enjoy, and if you are attached, married or involved, go hug your loved one tonight.
1) Hellooooooooooo....anybody home? Bob
I am pretty sure this was meant to be funny but I decided that, no, I was not home.
2) I would like to meet you today, lets talk about it, lets have fun today go out with me and see how thing work out.
Why yes, I will jump at the chance to go out with you today. Especially since this was sent to me at 5pm on a Saturday.
3) Hi I am Bill and very attracted to you and would like to talk we are a pretty good match
Why hi Bill. Of course you are very attracted to me. I am fabulous. But your lack of punctuation and your run on sentence sort of freaks me out.
4) What's up? You mentioned you like your Kindle. I've gone back and forth
with that vs the feeling of reading a novel traditionally vs. digitally.
What sold you?
The intellectual approach. You read, I read, we can read together. When I answered him about the kindle he said thank you and I never heard from him again. Perhaps he really was just doing Kindle research.
5)Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance...
Seriously? Am I supposed to finish the lyrics? Is this a test?
6) we should hook up
This was from a 25 year old boy. My response was 'Why?' I guess I should give him points for being direct.
7) altogether arousing
good morning--share a bit more
I do have to admit, this one caught my eye. But arousing? My profile spells out the basics. I have no sexy photos, I talk about my kids and books I have read. I am worried about what arouses this man.
8) Wow you are beautiful
Ok, I liked this one. But it came from a 23 year old. So I wrote back and said 'Wow, you could be my child'.
9)Hey we live pretty close.
Which I will keep in mind because now I am freaked out that you may be stalking me.
In person this may work but online you have to give me more. I wrote back 'goodbye'.
There are so many more that did not warrant a response or mention. One man even asked me if I was proud of myself for being so self confident. And then told me if I was less of a bitch I wouldn't have to be online. Sigh. It is a talent to grab a potential dates attention through an email. You need to stand out. Unfortunately some of these did stand out but all for the wrong reasons. Like my men, I need an email that exudes confidence, humor and intelligence. I need an email that can take my hand and lead me on the date. I need an email that can kiss me goodnight and make me want more. But, I will keep going through my inbox and waiting for the right one, because after all I am 43 and single.